Goodbye Jasmine

Two weeks ago today, we learned our beloved yorkie, Jasmine had lymphoma.  The vet was very concerned, so we immediately started her on a strong dose of steroids hoping to knock it into remission and give us another couple weeks or month with her.  We told the kids that evening how sick Jasmine was and that we wouldn't have her with us much longer.  Kelton was the only one who fully understood and was devastated.  Katie was upset but I'm not sure she quite realized what was going to happen.

Unfortunately Jasmine only continued to deteriorate and by that Sunday morning, I knew we needed to put her to rest as she was really suffering.  Eric dug a hole in the backyard while the kids and I were at church that morning.  I stayed up with her until about 2am that night.  I held her and just to make her comfortable as she was really struggling to breathe.  I also took a couple last pictures.

The next morning, I dressed her in one of her little outfits, gathered her favorite blankets and a box.   I held her in my lap and drove up the road to the animal clinic.  The staff was extremely kind and compassionate.  I didn't have to sit in the waiting room and when it was all over, I was allowed to leave out the side door. 

When I got home, Kelton was pretty upset, but I think he had already processed it so it wasn't bad as when we first told him she was sick.  Katie, on the other hand, finally understood and the way she cried and screamed Jasmine's name tore my heart to shreds. 
It was heart wrenching.

Once we all calmed down a little, we buried her in the back yard.  I originally had wanted to have her cremated, but Kelton was very against the idea and I'm so glad I let him decide.  I think this was definitely the right choice for the kids.  We laid some flowers down that Kelton had picked out the night before.  He chose a huge bunch of pink ones because he knew Katie would like them.

I gave the older kids the option of staying home, but both of them wanted to go to school.  Their teachers were super understanding and Katie's teacher hugged me when we got there.  We are extremely blessed to have amazing teachers again this year.  After Kelton and Katie were dropped off, Konny and I headed home for what felt like a horribly long afternoon for me.  Konny is such a sweetheart and gave me lots of snuggles.  That evening the kids all got to have their favorite take-out.  Kelton had Dairy Queen, Katie had Taco Bell and I made Konnor some taco meat.

Tuesday, I worked and it wasn't so bad.  Wednesday, I was off and home alone all day.  After everyone left, I laid back down, knowing that Jasmine should have been right there with me.  I had a good cry and then slept for awhile, which I apparently really needed because I hadn't slept very well in about a week.

The kids went out to where she was buried almost everyday, but I couldn't make myself until exactly a week later when her stone arrived in the mail.  I ordered it from Bente Designs on Etsy.  The owner was very kind and went she sent me the proof, I just cried because it was perfect!  It really is amazing.

Also in the mail that day, I received the necklace that my mom bought me.  I knew the owner at Emilina Ballerina would do a beautiful job at getting me exactly what I had in mind.  I ordered key chains for Father's Day from her in the past and she is a dream to work with.  I love my necklace and I've worn it every day since.

I'd been doing pretty well holding myself together this week until the mail came today.  When I opened this, I was just so surprised and the tears started flowing.

It will be 2 wks on Monday, so I'm hoping to bake some muffins for Konny and I to drop off at the clinic..  Obviously, this office is amazing with very kind and caring staff.  I want them to know how much they are appreciated.. 

I know Jasmine was just a dog and it might seem silly that I'm so torn up over losing her, but she was my first baby, my buddy, my shadow.  She always wanted to be near me and like a true child even followed me into the bathroom.  She had been by my side for 11 years through lots of hard life moments and I think I will miss her forever.